30  Jul
more ideas

Good idea

Bad idea

Good idea

Bad idea

Good idea

Bad idea

Good idea

Bad idea

Posted by Krank, filed under Awesomeness. Date: July 30, 2009, 3:32 pm | No Comments »

28  Jul
finally

a good idea!

Disgusting
Fucks
.

Posted by Krank, filed under Awesomeness. Date: July 28, 2009, 9:29 am | No Comments »

17  Jul
PISSSSSS

haha wow, this is awesome. Rather than addressing the issue of obesity in this country, it’s played down and new lines are drawn to protect the ego and self-esteem of these people. I imagine clothing companies are sick of having their employees screamed at when some fucking 340 pound bitch swears she used to fit into a medium shirt what is wrong with your sizing system I order diet coke with my double whopper you assholes! Are you fucking serious? While raising the number of inches it takes to be considered a size may seem like a good idea to some (ie: self hating fatties) condoning and perpetuating this cycle of horrific health is obviously being green-lit from this action. Would it not be better to leave the size the same, so that when Joe-Bob waddles in to the local wal-mart for a new “RIP Dale” t-shirt he might think “there are more x’s on my shirt label than on a porn rating maybe I should stop eating every second that i’m awake”? This is only exacerbating the rising drain on government money for health care, because if you think the baby boomers are the only ones crushing the government on medicare and medicaid, you’re higher than I am; and I get wet more than a nympho at a cock convention. But dear friends I have a solution. A final solution, if you will.

Every major city must open up warehouses that emit delicious smells of lard, gravy and Popeye’s chicken in order to draw the fatties to them, whether by forklift, rosco or dump truck. Once in, they will be herded towards the delicious scents, which are rendering machines painted like ice cream cones. once the wretched wastes have their ample fat liberated from them, it can be used as fuel to heat our homes, perhaps even to power our automobiles. This is a double pronged attack on the economic issues; the exuberant cost of caring for these things, and our dependency on fossil fuels.

While we’re at it, let’s start rounding up the elderly in much the same fashion, except this time instead of using the scent of delicious quadruple stackers (as well as advertisments for all you can eat sugar, I just thought of that let’s use the media to drive the orcas in! I’m so smart) we can advertise mega gambling and/or bingo centers, as well as good deals on medication and denny’s (which will work for both problem people since the old and the morbidly obese both need pills to manage their diabetes and such and everyone likes Denny’s). Once in, lock the doors and turn on the gas. It’ll sort itself out. I’ve just solved the medicare problem.

You’re welcome, America.

o
k
!

Posted by Krank, filed under Uncategorized. Date: July 17, 2009, 11:30 am | No Comments »

14  Jul
hi i’m gay now

let’s be gay together

http://twitter.com/krankindustries

update tomorrow July 1617th.  Tell your friend(s)

Posted by Krank, filed under Awesomeness. Date: July 14, 2009, 7:18 pm | No Comments »

Ireland apparently has decided it’s cool to regress a few centuries

Click here for the story

Well done, dipshits!

In other news, I think I’ll update my awesome page a few times a week starting yesterday, so tell your friends! In other other news, here is some stuff to distract you from your otherwise awful mundane life
and also to remind you that things can always be a lot worse:

This dude is having a bad day
No wait this dude is having a even worse day
.

Also, Red Sox fans are faggots.

Posted by Krank, filed under Awesomeness. Date: July 10, 2009, 10:36 am | No Comments »

In case you were wondering, this is what comes up first on google image search when you look for “scantily clad seniors”. A few down we have this.Neither are what I was looking for, so up yours, google. Also please send me pictures of scantily clad seniors. I need them for masturbation market research. That’s my job, you know.

Having received my hunting license recently I decided to head out this weekend for my first adventure. I learned three things from my experience –

1. Garroting is not a legal kill method
2. Humans are not on the list of things I’m allowed to hunt
3. Jails have the internet

I don’t see what the big deal is, I told the cops it was cool because I ate my kill but they just got all nauseous and hit me with a taser a couple times. zzzaapppppp!

Does anyone else find it annoying that now that the king of child fuckers is dead the media immediately threw out their book of ways to call him a freakish monster and are now tripping over each other to suck his deceased dick? Does no one want to call into question that the only thing he has been relevant for in the last decade and a half is putting wine bottles in children, spending ridiculous amounts of money on stupid shit and about 90 other things which range from weird to why hasn’t someone put this guy to sleep yet? Why do people worship a man with the brain capacity of a 10 year old? What the fuck is this shit? Whatever the reasoning, I’m sure MJ is looking up at all of us right now and howling in immense pain. I’m just sad that my idol is so distraught over the loss.

Also, this is pretty great.

Krank
Out
.

Posted by Krank, filed under Awesomeness. Date: July 9, 2009, 9:51 am | No Comments »