Good afternoon!

Posted by Krank, filed under Awesomeness. Date: September 28, 2009, 4:37 pm | No Comments »

11  Sep
lest we forget

Posted by Krank, filed under Awesomeness. Date: September 11, 2009, 10:00 am | 2 Comments »

10  Sep
Excitement!

Hello and salutations!

Apologies for the lateness in my update but unfortunately I have had some troubles with using the internet as upon entering internet cafe’s I am denied services as I unsettle the other customers! I have been quite busy in the recent months and am excited to explain my side of the story to you!

Friends, let me set the stage for this wonderful event through descriptive words! It was a warm and gentle evening, the cool breeze flowing gracefully upon my noisome, frail corpse like shell of a body and although I had just awoken from a particularly savage beating at the hands of local teens, I was feeling like a million pesos. I am sure you are now asking yourself, Mr. Sanchez, how on earth could you feel so great after being beaten about the head and upper torso by a gang of 9th graders? Friends, the reason is this:

For the first time since the explosion of ’82, I could hear!

I could hear the birds chirping, the cars passing in the distance, the blood dripping steadily onto the concrete below me and my soft whimpering mews as I struggled to breathe. Oh happy day! It seems one of the youths who administered my “tune-up” had lodged a stick into my ear canal, inadvertently puncturing the scar tissue and mucus that had built up and allowing sound to once more travel into my brain, where it eagerly lapped it up!

Since this happy event I have been able to find gainful employment once more, with the prestigious job title of Telesales Operations Specialist! I sell cat coffins to the public via phone calls and am lucky enough to speak with many interesting people! While most offer only loud vociferation to my opening line of “Is your cat dying or recently deceased and perhaps in your freezer?” others are quite happy to chat and do not even seem to mind that I must interrupt the conversation every few minutes to empty my puss bag which holds my various facial leakings! And for the first time in 27 years I can hear the wonderful names people shower me with whilst I hobble down the town streets! Apparently odious scuzz-man is a fashionable name for a fellow as I hear it often in between the screams!

Life is great!

Posted by Roberto Sanchez, filed under Roberto Sanchez. Date: September 10, 2009, 4:58 pm | No Comments »