keep forgetting to mention the awesomeness that is Sarah and her artistry. She draws stuff that you demand!

Posted by Krank, filed under Awesomeness. Date: April 29, 2012, 10:36 am | 2 Comments »

quite frankly, the best sex you’ll ever have. the first thing the arabs got right and they screwed it up. wait do i get blown up for saying th

Posted by Krank, filed under Awesomeness. Date: April 29, 2012, 12:10 am | No Comments »

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Sort of reminds me of that Roberto Sanchez guy.

Posted by Krank, filed under Awesomeness. Date: April 22, 2012, 9:50 pm | No Comments »

That should do it.

Posted by Krank, filed under Awesomeness. Date: April 22, 2012, 9:03 pm | No Comments »

There is no mystery left for adults. There are no space aliens, no seas monsters, no bigfoot, no santa claus. There is no chance of excitement wherein you get chased by a seemingly un-killable monster but then turn the tables and emerge from the dark forest victorious. Because there is no forest. There are no new heights of fear to reach, in the sense of unknown, vociferous spider-people with knives as legs, coming relentlessly at you as you valiantly try to escape their clutches. The most boring part about growing up is that the characters and situations you were purely and earnestly terrified of – vicious, hairy monsters hiding out in the deepest, darkest recesses of your room, gnashing teeth just waiting for your foster mother to close the door so they could leap out at you and eat your face, or dragons in the basement, are now gone, ridiculous and unnecessary ghosts. As adults, we’re forced into new fears. Our fears are now debt, job security and peak oil. Or maybe war, government or some dick you work with who always gives you dirty looks and who you keep finding yourself fixating about being garroted by with your own shoe laces while you just kick uselessly against your cubicle. If you live in a big city you probably have at least a sneaking fear of hobos. I sure do.

A lot of the times you come across these down-trodden wrecks they seem a bit more uneasy and ready for unnecessary violence than a cornered mountain lion. Broken, vacant eyed wretches who you find sitting on sidewalks or screaming menacingly at trash cans. Sometimes they turn those hollow, sallow, infected eyes to your own sparkling, lively green eyes, which are quite handsome. They have an uncanny way of keeping your eyes on theirs. You can see the desperation, you can smell the desperation. Sometimes they advance on you. I swear he advanced on me. I got lost and ended up in that shanty town, damnit, I hadn’t been drinking and watching American Psycho all night.

It seems you can’t have a heroic battle to death with these hard luck Charlies however, because the cops get all pissy about it. While I would have thought after crushing a hobo’s skull into a Gasper NoĆ© film homage pulp when he attacked me out of nowhere, or was sleeping peaceably when I fell upon him (same thing right?), I would be bestowed and adorned with various medals illustrating my bravery and rugged good looks, all I got was an arrest warrent. What I would deam as “a zesty and hard fought victory” the cops are labeling as “first degree murder with sadistic mutilation and aggravated sodomy.” I would have gotten away with it too, if not for the rough sketch of my face given by some other hovel dweller that apparently didn’t understand that me telling her “if you tell the cops about this I will come back for you and your yappy dog and I will stomp that thing to bits and make you watch me do it and will then do the same to you” means “if you tell the cops about this I will come back for you and your yappy dog and I will stomp that thing to bits and make you watch me do it and will then do the same to you.”

So I guess I’m off to prove a point. Vio con dios, amigos.

Posted by Krank, filed under Awesomeness. Date: April 22, 2012, 12:52 am | No Comments »

what’s up

Hear this and don’t forget to watch the movie with yo momz

i dunno if I was supposed to masturbate so much throughout the screening but that doesn’t change the fact that I did

so chafed

While we’re at it, these movies are pretty alright for viewing on a first date.

so is this and this and this and this

ok see ya

Posted by Krank, filed under Awesomeness. Date: April 14, 2012, 11:39 am | No Comments »