Having quit smoking cigarettes a month ago I have since been on a quest to find something new in which to, as Jared Diamond would posit, show women how fucking hardcore I am, but have yet to find anything of real interest. Cocaine is too expensive, meth is too tooth-rotting and whip-its are just gay. So what should a scholarly, handsome man such as myself fall to? There’s booze, but I’ve always been (too) well versed in that subject so it would not be a viable replacement, as it is one of my main daily intakes as is. So I began researching some other narcotics that I may be able to imbibe in. Let’s start with Phencyclidine, or as it is commonly known, PCP.

 

ON THE PLUS SIDE:

Gives you an appetite.

Associates you with angels, thereby giving you an elevated stature in the community.

Gets you totally fucked up, man.

Relatively inexpensive

ON THE NOT SO PLUS SIDE (ALSO KNOWN AS MINUS)

Schizophrenia doesn’t seem like that much fun.

Nor does convulsing uncontrollably.

Also addictive, horrible.

Hmm. Maybe not the best way to go, what with the egregious death and/or Michael J. Fox dancing associated with it. How about HGH? Might as well get buff and murder-ready, right?

ON THE PLUS SIDE:

MUSCLES!!!

MUSCLES!!

ON THE NOT SO PLUS SIDE (ALSO KNOWN AS MINUS)

Acromegaly is apparently a word. Also an unpleasant thing to be associated with.

Not really interested in lymphoma.

Fuck…..why can’t they make a drug that just works? Oh wait they did. LSD Y’ALL

ON THE PLUS SIDE:

All your favorite super heroes and cartoon friends come to play with you.
Easy to use, purchase.
– You could be genuinely unsure as to whether this is happening or not.

ON THE NOT SO PLUS SIDE (ALSO KNOWN AS MINUS)
– Did you see that Mad Men where Sterling took LSD? Seems like he had a pretty awesome time.

– This section is irrelevant, there is no minus.

– Well I guess some people may say seeing your friends turn into large birds of prey or perhaps massive lizards would be a minus. But those people are pussies.

I CAN TASTE COLORS

In summation, drugs are mostly bad, but seeing as life in general is bad for you, I see no reason why you shouldn’t immerse yourself in them as thickly and recklessly as possible. Just don’t smoke cigarettes, that shit is nasty. And yeah, I quit after 16 years by reading the book linked previously.

Also, why is the formatting so suck on this page? Because wordpress is a dirty whore, that’s why.

Posted by Krank, filed under Awesomeness. Date: May 23, 2012, 12:22 pm | 2 Comments »

23  May
FACE/OFF

YEH YEAH EYH

long days, pleasant nights.

Posted by Krank, filed under Awesomeness. Date: May 23, 2012, 9:29 am | No Comments »

13  May
I hate everything.

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

On top of that, you have to deal with this kind of shit ~


GODDAMNIT

ALL THE ANIMALS ARE PLOTTING AGAINST US WITH THEIR SMIRKING DISGUISES. DO NOT BE FOOLED, FRIENDS. WE WILL COME TO SOME SORT OF AGREEABLE CONCLUSION WITH THE BEAR KING, THIS I SWEAR/

WHAT!

burn it already,.

also holy shit, stile project is still a thing, and it’s just porn now.

i guess i’m not surprised.

i was just surprised to think of that website, and i bet you were too if you’re over the age of 18. If you are not, what are you doing reading this anyways/

BR LOL HTML PROBLEMS

Right?

SO

Posted by Krank, filed under Awesomeness. Date: May 13, 2012, 10:08 pm | No Comments »

Isn’t this just theft?

Why do I keep getting referral hits from what appears to be some sort of russian children’s furniture website? And does this coincide with the rash of poorly written spam comments I have been receiving of late? Knock it off, Russians.

Furthermore, why are most of the google referral hits I’ve gotten in the last week in regards to gonorrhea? Is it because I have it? WHO TOLD YOU, INTERNET

Mysterious Mysteries!

Posted by Krank, filed under Awesomeness. Date: May 8, 2012, 7:31 pm | No Comments »